The days are beginning to change. Setting on the verandah of the beach house, a picture postcard sunset in front of me. I don’t see it. I don’t see it, don’t accept the changes that are happening. Just as days turns to evening, to night; the changes are happening all around me.
These September days I have come to the beach house, to sit, to think, to clarify, to wonder what in the world is in store.
Yet I find myself, instead, just sitting, gazing, keeping thoughts at bay.
She was such a good friend – is such a good friend – will always be a good friend.
The sun sets over the sea with a spectacular finale, and darkness begins to envelop me.. I shiver at life. Its turns and twists can surprise one moment and totally confuse me the next.
My mind lives in the past and the future so often caught between the what might have been and the what could be. This is the place come to to sit in the present, to capture the minutes and hours of time being lived.
I stand and gather my things – a book, a journal, a pen – things to keep me from the present. As I enter the soft glow of the living room its aloneness tugs at me, inviting me to sit awhile in its intimacy. To enjoy the now, not as an escape but as a reason to be alive.
My thoughts turn to yesterday, the news, the reality of change. Quickly I refocus. There is an evening ahead, not to get through but to enjoy. Decisions t be made about the now. A glass of wine, music, a crossword puzzle, the lapping waves.
The enjoyment of now in the face of change.
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